The Real World
by Pink and Blue Fuzzy Bunni
Summary: Groups unlikely groups placed in the most unlikely houses by names drawn from a hat. The Real World...Newsies style!


**Disclaimer: **Own Newsies?  Pfft!  We wish!

**Opening Comments: **o.O Aw, newspapers!  Another sleepless ficlet.  ^^;;;

**Author: **Stage and Dottie        

**Title: **The Real World

****

"Hello and welcome to the Real World!" Belle announced, looking downright perky perched upon her stool.  Beamer sat next to her, a bit more sane-looking.  They both wore headsets with microphones bent out in front, giving free-range of their hands.  Ya'know it takes a lot of effort to stay on one of those stools.

"Hello, I'm Beamer with my co-anchor: Belle."

"I am _so not_ your 'co-anchor'!" Belle replied.  "I'm the _hostess_."

Beamer blinked.  "Er, anyways…we have a brand-new twist on the hit show _Real World_."

"But…wait…it's not _real_?" Jack demanded, jumping up from his seat on the bench in the studio audience.  "We went on that strike for _nothing_?!"

"Alright, sit down Drama Queen." ToT stated, pushing him back down.

"As I was saying, _Real World_." Beamer picked up.  "We take twenty contestants apiece and randomly put them in houses together in groups of five.  We have four houses with Stage, ToT, Dottie, and Sparkles.  The names are randomly drawn from this festive fedora."

"That's mine!" Specs yelled, jumping up with a hand on his head. "How did you get that?!"

"Don't you remember what last night, Specsie?" Belle asked, fluttering her eyelashes suggestively.  Specs turned bright red and sat down meekly.

"Wait a second.  Back up the trolley.  He did _what_?" Stage stood up.  Dutchy was soon to follow suit.

"I's wit Stage heah!" He exclaimed.

"Aw, so youse two finally got tagaddah?" Morris sneered.  Stage glared only briefly before tackling him and knocking them both off the bleachers.  ToT, Sparkles, and Dottie leaned over the bar and raised their eyebrows.  Several audience members stood up.

"Jerry, Jerry, Jerry!" They chanted.  Bodyguards swarmed in and yanked them apart.  Morris was sporting everything that was possible from being tackled and beat upon while Stage had a "shiner".

"We draw names from this hat." Belle continued as though nothing had happened at all.  "Five names for each house.  Let's begin shall we?  Beamer?"

"The first name for house number one—Stage's—is Spot Conlon!"

"NOO!" Dottie and ToT both yelled.  

"Name number two…Racetrack Higgins!" Beamer frowned.  "No fair.  Stage, want to switch?"

Stage brightened. "Can I?"

"No." Belle stated firmly.  "Only one hostess on this show."

"Third name is…Dutchy!"

Morris snickered.  Stage glared.  "Say it and I'll give you a fat lip."

"The last, but not least name…Morris Delancey!"

"Aw, hell no!" Stage yelled. 

"I ain't stayin' in a house wit hoir!"

"Ya'know…" Beamer said thoughtfully, looking at the slip of paper.  "I take back that 'but not least' part."

Belle nodded in understanding.  "I would too."

"Drawing for house two!  Your turn, Belle."

"Alrighty.  First name for Dottie's house…the mayor's daughter!"

"Who now?" Dottie asked, blinking.

"Sweet.  Dat's da house foir me." Blink winked.  Or, at least, that's what Mush thought he did.

"Second…Oscar Delancey!"

"On second t'ought, maybe it ain't."

"If our studio audience would kindly _shut up_!" Belle shrieked.  "I will gladly move on to lucky number three…Kid Blink!"

"Is dis good or bad?" Questioned Blink.

"Bad…definitely bad…" Oscar nodded.

"And number four is…Jack Kelly!"

"And it gets woise." 

"Take it away Beamer!"

"House number three—ToT's place…guest one…Snyder!" 

"_WHAT_?!" Exclaimed a very disturbed ToT.

"Moving right along…number two…Weasel!"

"Dat's Weisel, ya lousy bum!"

"Number three is…David Jacobs!"

"I didn't put my name in that hat!" David yelled, outraged.  Jack pulled him back down into his seat.

"I did, Davey."

"Jack!"

"Four!  Four is Medda!"

"_I_ put her name in." Racetrack grinned.

"Your turn, Belle."

"Thank you, Beamer.  The final residence, Sparkles, house number four.  Number one, Mush!"

Mush leaned over to grin at Sparkles past Blink.  Sparkles quickly leaned farther back.  "Uh oh."

"Number two…Specs!"

"Damn." Stage muttered.

"Number three…"

Sparkles crossed her fingers.

"Joseph Pulitzer!"

Sparkles—and the other two newsies in her house—stared.  "No!  No way!"

"Could be worse." Mush shrugged.

"How?!" Sparkles demanded, eyes flashing.

"Could be Sarah."

"Number four!  Sarah Jacobs!"

"Hey, are she and Davey married?" A random voice called from the back.  Jack raised his eyebrows at David—who was pink—and glanced over at Sarah who hadn't heard that…she was too caught up in the camera.

"That's all for this chapter!" Beamer announced.  "Stay tuned for the next exciting episode of the _Real World_!"

Dramatic music started playing and Belle snapped her fingers, cutting it off.  ToT, Stage, and Dottie stood up in the audience and pointed three accusing fingers.

"You are _so_ done!" They announced in unison.

****

**Closing Comments:** Lalalala.  Stage has the hiccups.

**ToT: **You gave me the _worst_ house of all!

**Dottie and Stage: **It was Beamer!

**Beamer:** What?

**Sparkles:** Heeeey!  You forgot Bumlets!

**Stage:** Ummm…he's with ToT… _::points::_

**ToT:** _WHAT_?

**Dottie:** You like to say that don't you?


End file.
